“You’re going to do great things. You know that, right?”

In the middle of a rush, “doing” ministry, my heart now races faster than my thoughts. I speed past the coming traffic flow of ICLVers and hurry to my work post. My soul, however, feels like soggy cereal. I try to control my emotions from bursting out of my eyelids; it’s too late. Tears start bouncing off my cheek bones. I storm out of the bookstore unapologetic for leaving a conversation behind.

A collection of prayers were being answered in one simple, but explosive moment. Before I left the sanctuary and into the bookstore, A pastor shook my hand patiently waiting for my eyes to see his. Once I surrendered, he brought forth healing through a question.

“You’re going to do great things. You know that, right?”

I always believed I was destined for greatness until an assortment of disappointments left me damaged from fully embracing God’s calling. Proverbs 27:17 says, “Irons sharpens iron.” But a few things must happen. The angle must be right. And both parties have to be ready, otherwise there would be more pain than sharpening.

And that is how I felt. Like Lonnie Frisbee, I thought the church cared more about my gifts than they did about me. But through Kairos, God reinterpreted those beliefs.

Kairos helped reveal the natural reformer within me. My past defined me as a “distraction.” It hated my point of view. (As a side thought, I pray that my heart would remain soft to change and reformation as I grow older. Our “new” thinking can easily be taught as models. But may we never see reformation turn religious as history has told us).

“You’re going to do great things. You know that, right?” Well, I’m starting to believe it again.

The discipline of 7 a.m. prayer meetings brought much fruit and revelation for me. One morning another pastor said, “Someone’s going to write a book before the year is over.” I finished the first draft two months later.

I had every opportunity to choose a seminary, but I chose Kairos because of my longing for a prophetic and apostolic culture. I quickly realized I was also in an emotionally healthier culture, so the thoughts of quitting Kairos came on quickly and often. But I stayed.

I used to run away from my problems (sometimes I still want to), but Kairos showed me the only kind of runners they would allow for are forerunners. They rooted me deep into the ground so that I could confront the ugly things in my life.

Even though I know I am not better than anyone, I am a whole lot better than I used to be thanks to Kairos.

Anton Cruz, Kairos Graduate

I am not defined by my past; actually, my past has qualified me for my destiny with Christ. The very things I thought disqualified me are the very things that qualify me.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family where my normal way of life involved abuse, alcohol and anger. At 4-years-old, I was molested. When I was 6, my parents divorced. I had to choose which parent to live with, so I chose my mother. My father rejected me for this decision which started my addiction for approval.

I spent the rest of my life trying to win his approval through relationships with other men, and falling short of being worthy of their love. I got into a relationship and was quickly rejected when I became pregnant. This led to an abortion and a life that would spiral out of control very quickly. In an attempt to numb the pain of taking a life, I engaged in drugs, alcohol, gambling and abusive relationships that would punish me for what I had done.

Shame, guilt, blame and depression became my closest companions. After two failed attempts at marriage and my children being taken from me due to violence in the home, suicide seemed to be my only option for relief. I knew I had two choices: life or death.
I chose life. I gave my life to God, asking Jesus to come into my mess and be my Savior. I began attending Celebrate Recovery where I was able to take ownership of my decisions and take practical steps towards my healing with Jesus. I learned how to co-labor with God. I began to feel the sorrow of the injustice done to me, dealt with the unhealthy decisions I had made and was healed when I allowed Jesus to touch those areas and use them for His Glory.

Pastor Paul mentioned the Kairos School of Ministry and how missionaries were being equipped to be sent out. I knew that it was my next step and within a matter of two weeks, I was a student of Kairos and my daughter was enrolled at ICA Preschool; our new journey with God had begun.

My life verse became, “Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, soul, and mind; and love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:37-39). I grew to love God with all that I was, yet lacked in loving myself. I was incapable of loving people as He wanted me to.

Through Kairos, I was in a safe and loving environment to experience God on levels I did not know were possible. By receiving the love of Jesus, I was able to love myself anew. God gave me a heart of compassion to love like never before. He has woven Himself into every wrong decision and circumstance in my life and used it to bring hope to others. This is my calling and it is good.

Brenda Ranger, Kairos graduate

In 2009, I came to ICLV from California to hear Heidi Baker speak at the Holy Spirit Conference. During the conference, Pastor Paul talked about the Kairos School of Ministry. I felt God calling me there, so a month later, I packed up my car and moved to Las Vegas, NV.

My experience in Kairos was the most spiritually intense year of my life. I grew in so many areas of my life, areas I was unaware I needed growth in. When I returned home, my family and close friends were completely aware of the change in me, especially in the boldness of my faith. I discovered the power of Holy Spirit, received personal breakthrough and was overwhelmingly loved simply for who I am.

After Kairos, I attended Iris Ministries’ three-month missionary training school, led by Heidi Baker, in Mozambique, Africa.

My in the dirt evangelism experience included overnight outreaches to the local “bush,” praying for the sick in hospitals and taking care of the children in the orphanages.

I radically encountered the love of God, which ignited a burning passion in me to see the end of child slavery and sex trafficking. I received such an impartation of faith that I refused to return to life as I knew it. I am forever changed!

God has now called me to Bangkok, Thailand to stop child slavery. I am compelled by His love to leave my country and what I know and go. I have a one-way ticket and I am not looking back. I do not have a fixed plan or have much figured out, but I walk in obedience without fear or worry because I know this is what God has called me to do.

I have never been so happy, for I have found my destiny and what I was made for. I would not be where I am today if I had not encountered God at ICLV and Kairos, which ultimately propelled me into my destiny.

This article was written in November of 2010. I wanted her to share what has happened since she left for Thailand.

I have been living in Thailand for seven months now and I am amazed at the supernatural love God has deposited in my heart for the people of Thailand. I feel like they are my people and this is my nation. In just a few short weeks of moving to Bangkok—not knowing anyone—God completely surrounded me with great friends and a great community.

I have completed two months of language school and by the grace of God, I am picking it up fairly quickly, which makes learning a joy and not a burden.

Before even having to ask God, He has provided for every need! This has been a sweet time of putting my trust in the Lord and seeing His faithfulness.

Last spring, a team from Iris Ministries came out for two weeks to survey the land in order to plant an Iris base in Bangkok; we spent time with the poor, homeless and those in the thriving sex industry. As the only Iris missionary here, I am helping pioneer the base. To do so, I network with different ministries seeing what Holy Spirit is doing, what Iris Ministries would look like here and who we could partner with.

We plan to have another team come out in November 2011 to further catch the vision and plant roots. In the spring of 2012, we hope to actually have a building and establish God's presence amongst the poor and brokenhearted.

Natasha Hansen, deployed student